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It’s no surprise that once again the state of Florida fucked
up. Again.
I am all for the defense of personal rights. This very blog relies on the social contract
that permits the freedom of speech.
Although I know that these Info Zombie articles can be annoying at times,
one can very easily point their internet browser to a different web page to
read. Yes, the privilege of enjoying
personal freedoms has a condition: we Americans can do as we please as long as
it does not encroach on the well being or happiness of others.
The state of Florida once again becomes the example that
defies such common logic. Just this week
the state supreme court (now, I will not put those words in respectable upper
case when the court does something stupid) voted
that mobile car stereos may be played as loud as possible because said
stereos represent the freedom of expression that stems from the Freedom of
Speech guaranteed in the First Amendment.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Everyone has the right to play whatever you want on your
radio. Gospel music? Go ahead.
Hitler’s speeches? Fine,
whatever. The comedy lampoons of that
jokester Justin Bieber as she mocks the music industry with her
caterwauling? If that’s the fluid that lifts
your watercraft, indulge.
BUT if you are playing such things at a level that shakes
your car, then you are not expressing any free speech other than the admission
that you are a stupid, inconsiderate ass.
At least when one overpays for Beats headphones and looks ridiculous
while making a garish fashion statement, the music in those oversized cans can
be relegate to the listener alone. Traffic
prisoners cannot just get up and leave when other vehicles exceed reasonable
decibel levels with their radios (and lame sounding loud mufflers, too).
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Loud music coming from motor vehicles distracts drivers. Anyone who endures one of the many
interstates in Florida knows how people are distracted enough while driving. With the armies of old people under-driving, endless
construction, Boca-ites and their wannabes texting while attempting to maneuver
their soccer tanks, and lawn services that utilize old pickups overloaded with
unsecured palms, the average Florida roadway is a deathtrap.
Now there’s a second reason why I will be forced to keep my
window rolled up when driving (granted, the heat is the most obvious reason
that needs no further listing). The amount of panhandlers for “The Homeless
Voice” stalking street corners falls under the primary reason why I need to
keep the Zombie mobile fresh-air proof. Courtesy
of the florida supreme court, I will be forced to keep the window closed to
avoid listening to the beautiful poetry of the common thug rapper trying to make
doggerel the phrases “smack your pussy shut with my gold Rolex watch” and
“hammer your ass with my dick the size of a crutch.”
To the florida supreme court, I simply state that loud music
pounding from a vehicle is a sign of microphallus, not an expression of
speech. In your infinite wisdom, you may
think you are protecting freedom, but you are simply annoying the more
considerate and intelligent.
And, no, I am not scared that people who play radios
excessive loud in their vehicles will see this and come after me. Those people cannot read, so I don’t worry
about expressing my right of Free Speech to chastise them.
Keep those radios down to a considerate volume.


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